TV lovers of a certain age will probably remember how the phrase “jumping the shark” became a cultural touchstone. It was in the late years of the show “Happy Days” when the series had gotten, shall we say, “Not So Fresh” and ratings were sagging. So, the writers decided to do a multi-part episode where one of the main characters, Arthur “The Fonz” Fonzarelli jumps over a shark on water skis. It resulted in a temporary bump in ratings, but it was a slow slide into obscurity from there. The show didn’t die right away, however. Instead, it was a slow, lingering death.
Looking around now, I’m forced to ask if we have done the same.
After eight years of relatively little political trauma and mostly competent running of the country by one of the smartest, most eloquent presidents we’ve ever had and almost no political scandals, did we look around and say to ourselves, “Well that was boring. Why don’t we spice things up a little to get ratings, damn the cost?”
Cue the cameras and bring in the adult equivalent of Cousin Oliver or Ted McGinley, the man the networks always bring in when a series is flagging. I’ve always been puzzled why shows like “The Brady Bunch” feel the need to freshen things up by introducing a character like a never-before-mentioned, but suddenly-discovered Cousin Oliver. Or finding some way to work pretty boy Ted McGinley into the script. Perhaps the execs think it’s a way of telling the fans, “We hear you’re bored with the show. We get it. Let’s spice things up with a new character. Instead, the message we fans get is “This show is on its last legs. Lets see how we can hasten its demise.”
Don’t believe me? McGinley was on the last season of “Love Boat,” “Happy Days,” “Dynasty,” “Perfect Strangers” and, my favorite, “Sports Night” to name only a few before all were ignominiously cancelled.
I’m perfectly convinced these shows could have bumped along for a few more years before something more interesting was found to replace it, but, no, network execs wanted some excitement. Just like the voters in 2016.
Admittedly, Hillary Clinton was not the second coming of Camelot. Instead, she was more like Fonzie’s love interest, Pinky Tuscadero, who had been introduced seasons before.
Think about that for a minute. We could have been run by the political equivalent of Pinky Tuscadero, a TV girlfriend so cool she was already a successful mechanic on her own, was known for her motorcycle riding tricks and her pink outfits, but still deigned to date The Fonz in much the same way that Hillary opted to stay with the apparently cool president when she could have easily gone out on her own and done just fine, thank you. She may not have been a stunt rider, but Clinton had her own trademark look as well. Unfortunately, Pinky Tuscadero was written out of the show in much the same way that Hillary was written out of our future.
Instead, we elected McGinley, a vacuous, sort of good-looking guy (if you’re into that well-dressed, preppyish, conceited, airhead look) who has no idea what happened in the show’s previous episodes, really doesn’t seem to care, thinks he’s brought in to shake things up and make the series great again when all he is really doing is hastening the show’s demise by being a plot distraction. It’s almost as if the producers knew that the series was failing, but rather than go out on top of the game and let other, better, funnier shows take over, they decided to go one more round so they could make all the money they could with an inferior product that makes everyone turn away in embarrassment hoping it will just end already.
Until someone has the guts to say something and pull the plug, however, it not only robs the organization (country) of its prestige, it milks it of as much money as it can so that its treasury…er…coffers will be dry when it finally ends.
Just like Trump and today’s Republicans. Trump started as a TV cultural juggernaut and, as a presidential candidate, he made the news, got all the good lines and bumped up ratings for a while, but only because people like a spectacle.
Now, however, he’s not only taking the series down with him, he’s lost so many sponsors and allies that he’s threatening to take the whole network/country with him.
It’s so bad that not even Cousin Oliver and Ted McGinley can save us.
Of course, when things get this bad, there’s one thing that might be able to bring back viewers (voters), but it’s a big gamble.
I call it the Roseanne Gambit.
Roseannne Barr, graduate of the Stephen Miller School of Diplomacy and Human Relations.
I know it may be hard to remember back that far, but comedian Roseanne Barr’s career was on a comeback with a follow-up to her popular TV show from the 1980s, “Roseanne” (what an original title. I wonder who thought it up.) when a racist tweet about a member of President Barack Obama’s administration made her so toxic that her show was cancelled just as it was gaining ground. So, she did the only thing she could to save the show and the cast members who she deeply cared for — she quit.
I admit, it’s tough to rewrite a series when the show is named after you. In ABC’s case, it was quickly renamed “The Conners” and they wrote her out of the script saying she had died from an opioid overdose.
In Donald Trump’s case, I’m not suggesting a story change quite so radical as that. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying he shouldn’t resign. I’m just saying that the cover story should be a little less drastic — maybe the writers say he decided he wanted to go back to his acting career, that he contracted the coronavirus and needed to convalesce at Mar-A-Lago or he wanted to spend more time with his family (because, lord knows, we sure would love it if he spent more time with them so we don’t have to).
Or that he went to prison.
From Harper’s Lips to God’s Ears
As for the replacement series, there’d definitely be a need for a change in casting. For good or ill, “Schitt’s Creek” already has the market cornered on shows about rich families falling on hard times and its characters are far more sympathetic than, say, Don Jr., Erik or Ivanka.
Given the success of the spin-off of “The Conners,” I would go with something that shows our commitment to people from other cultures, but still gives us an idea of who the main character is. Maybe someone who is already in the cast in a background role, but would be even more interesting. And it couldn’t hurt if it wasn’t some WASP-y sounding name like “Smith” or “Jones.”
I’ve got it. How about calling it “The Pelosi’s”?
The Pelosi’s: A Trump Summer Replacement Series We’d All Look Forward To.