I’m Not Going To Buy Your Book, Johnny

I may not remember the name of the book, but I remember the scene well enough. A group of teens are fighting a vampire and the only adult who believes them, a washed up priest, comes face to face with the creature. 

When the priest tells the vampire that god is stronger than he is, the bat-man challenges him to a faith-off. If the clergy man is so sure of god’s power he should be willing to throw away the cross and face him down. The priest knows he should drop the icon, but is afraid to do so. The longer he holds it, the more the light coming from the cross fades until it is useless against the creature of the night. 

So it is with John Bolton. 

He said he was a patriot, he said he believed in America and whatever it was he saw as the American Way, but when it came time to prove it and testify against Donald Trump in the House of Representatives, he was a chickenshit and either decided to hide between a questionable legal technicality or the desire to make money from a soon-to-be-published book. Instead, lie the blustery, weak leader he is, he chose to let is underlings stick their neck out, defy Trump’s orders and testify before Congress while he sat on the sidelines counting the money he thought he’d make. 

Oh, sure, when the impeachment inquiry moved to the Senate as a formal impeachment proceeding, he was willing to testify. Sure, he knew that the Republicans had already rigged the game and wouldn’t allow him to do so, but it made him look good. 

And now, four months later, after thousands have died from Trump’s mismanagement of the coronavirus and people are protesting annd occasionally rioting inn the streets, Bolton says Congress souled have widened its impeachment inquiry. 

Stories about his new book also report that his book also says—

—Trump hoped to serve more than two terms. 

—Trump asked China to help him get re-elected. 

—Trump offered despots in other countries favors. 

—Trump thought Finland was part of Russia. 

—Trump thought it would be cool to invade Venezuela. 

It’s nice that these revelations are coming out now in the months before the election annd all. And it’s great that Trump’s effort to stop publication kept his allegations in the news and I’m happy to benefit from all that, BUT…

I’m not going to buy your book Johnny and I urge other Americans not to, either, because you chose money over country. Instead of saving us from a man who is killing us and killing our prestige abroad, he chose to wait until his book came out so he might make the best seller list. 

I’ve got news for you, Johnny, I am so unimpressed that I won’t even check your book out of the library when it opens again so that you won’t even get credit for that because you didn’t have the courage of your convictions, John. (Now that people have begun distributing free copies, I may consider reading it because it’s the ultimate revenge against someone who writes for money—reading what they wrote and not paying for it.

No, Johnny, I won’t buy your book. Now, if former Ambassador Marie Yovanovich, NSC expert Fiona Hill, Bill Taylor, Alex Vindman or even that fop Gordon Sondland wrote a book, I would sooner pay full price no matter how bad their books turn out than I would spend a cent on your too-little, too-late memoir. 

May your garage be filled with boxes of unsold books and the rest be sent to Half Price Books where they go right to the dollar rack.

—From A Man Who Isn’t Opening His Wallet For The Likes Of You

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