BLOG OF DAVE EXCLUSIVE: ELECTORAL COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAM FROM ELECTORAL COLLEGE DROP-OUT

After the craziness that was yesterday exposed the problems in our system under a wanna-be dictator and his not-much-more competent minions, I’ve gotten to thinking about the Electoral College and I was reminded of a recurring question: “How much studying do you really  need to be accepted to the Electoral College?” To be honest, it’s been a question that’s been haunting us here at The Blog of Dave for quite some time. 

What we’ve wanted to know is, what are the admission standards to this august body? Is it a question of either being a Democrat or a Republican? A committee member or a particular party or not? Do you have to be a true believer or someone who wandered in off the street and just happened to be in the right place at the right time? 

Heck, if Trump’s time in the White House is proof of anything, it’s proof you don’t have to be all that smart to be an elector at all. 

In fact, we at theblogofdave already had suspicions, about what it looked like, but an admission exam smuggled out of the Electoral College’s Office of Registrar confirmed our fears that entry requirements were minimal. In fact, registrants only needed to score a 10 on a battery of ridiculous questions. But don’t take our word for it. 

But you don’t have to take our word for it. You be the judge. 


Congratulations on your decision to apply to attend the Electoral College. Many people love our institution because there are almost no classes, you only have to attend one session and you have the ability to change the course of history. The catch is, we only admit 538 people every four years. So, it is understandable that our admission standards must be quite rigorous. You’ve obviously gotten here because you know the right people. Now it’s our job to make sure you know the RIGHT right people by having you take this short test. 

ELECTORAL COLLEGE ENTRY EXAMWhat is your name? (2 points)

What is your name? (2 points for correct answer)

Sex (Select all that apply, point value depends on party of incoming administration)

Female

Male

Transgender

Transistor

Can I get back to you on that? 

Yes, please.

Which state are you in? (2 points) 

The state I was chosen to represent.

Liquid

Solid

A little gassy

The state of confusion

Currently, I am — (2 point)

Alive

Dead

Dead, but still casting illegal votes

Desperately in need of coffee. 

I want to join the Electoral College because: (2 points) 

I didn’t go to college, but I could have. 

Night school takes too long. 

I want to make a difference. 

So far, the only degrees I have are third degree burns. 

If chosen as an elector, on December 14th I will go to my state capitol and — (2 points)

Desperately try to find parking

Keep the faith, baby

Dance with the one that brought me. 

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. 

Vote for the clown who heads up my party. 

When this is all over, I will…

Seek asylum in Australia. 

Listen to Soul Asylum

Check myself into an asylum over the stupidity of having my country participate in a system that was designed to help southern slave owners maintain their political clout. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *