Category: Politics

I heard this short song video yesterday and it has stuck with me and made me laugh so much over the last 36 hours that I’ve decided to make it the official song to indicate that the post you’re about to read is plain, good old fun. I’ll use it if I post something funny and I can’t find a photo, illustration or video that fits the topic. Special thanks to The Stephanie Miller Show and Rocky Mountain Mike.

In life, I’ve learned there are certain things you shouldn’t do because they’re just tempting fate. Most of them are fairly obvious, like staying outside during a thunderstorm, walking under a ladder when someone is painting or crossing an interstate highway in a busy metro area during rush hour. 

I think I’ve found a new one. 

And that would be being anywhere near Donald Trump. 

It was bad enough when he went to the National Prayer Breakfast (whatever the heck that is) on the day after impeachment hearings ended in his favor and he used the opportunity to insult his opponents by saying, “I don’t like people who use their faith as justification for doing what they know is wrong. Nor do I like people who say ‘I will pray for you’ when they know that’s not so.” (So much for turning the other cheek.) 

It was even worse when he had peaceful protestors tear gassed so he could pose for a picture holding a bible in front of St. John’s Episcopal Church.

Now, I don’t know if there is a spiritual three strikes you’re out policy or not, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to be in the room the next time the man who evangelicals love so much offends whatever diety you happen to believe in by opening his mouth and further co-opting whatever brand of spirituality we all subscribe to. You just never know what’s going to happen or when it’s going to happen, but I wouldn’t want to be in the vicinity when the bad craziness goes down. I hear karmic paybacks are a bitch….. 

It’s not unusual for me to misunderstand the lyrics of songs. I once thought “It’s too late to apologize” was “it’s too late to throw in chives”

 and I thought that Charlie Puth was singing “you keep running around running around with a turtle on your knee,” 

which doesn’t make a lot of sense, but makes about as much sense as the Beatles singing “The girl with colitis goes by” in “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.” (Before you write, I know that’s not what they’re saying. They’re singing “The grill with kaleidoscope pies.”) 

This, however, is the first time I’ve misheard the name of an entire song. Granted, I first heard it as a song lyric, but I knew “My Mom hates Obama” and a few other references to the former president did seem a little out of place this far into the Trump administration and hardly seemed the thing a rapper would be talking about now, but the singer was so insistent. In one case, he sings, 

F@#$ you and you and you, 

Your momma called Obama, 

turn it up and throw a tantrum….

Well, okay, maybe it does make sense, I don’t know. 

It turns out the song’s name is “Hot Girl Bummer.” 

(Warning: As you can tell from the above quote, the song features R-rated words. In fact, it starts with one of them.)

Wow, I really must be getting old if I misheard it that badly. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to switch the radio to the 1980s station so I can listen to “Ring My Bell” and immediately pull over when I hear a siren coming. 

That is all. 

Now that Donald Trump’s relatively new press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, held a press conference where she showed a check with his bank information, it won’t be long before she joins Sean Spicer, Sarah “You  Can’t Hide Your Lyin’ Eyes” Huckabee Sanders and Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci (remember him?) in the unemployment line. 

While it seems like the Orange Menace always has trouble finding people to fill other spots in his administration, there never seems to be a shortage of people willing to step in and take this spot. Who knows? Maybe there’s a temp-to-hire agency that specializes in such people. Let’s call it Useful Idiots Inc. 

As many of you know, I’m not one of Trump’s biggest fans, but I do like to help people because I’m a helper. That’s just the kind of guy I am. And since it’s fairly obvious that Kayleigh is already on her way out, I’d like to suggest a few possible replacements that would all be a great fit for the final days of the Trump Administration. Hell, at this point, he probably still has time to hire, and fire, them all.

–Tommy Flanagan

–The Richmeister

Or

–Mr Clueless.

Look for one of these guys real soon at a White House Press Briefing Room near you.